After a longer-than-brief hiatus, we’re back with another book review. I also very pleased to write a review for Brown & Bossy Book Clubs first official selection. Our February read was fitting for the month of love. How to Be the Love You Seek by Dr. Nicole Lepera addresses our basic human desire for love by encouraging readers to look within. Dr. Lepera, known on instagram as @the.holistic.psychologist, focuses on healing from childhood traumas and regulating the nervous system as the foundation to showing up better in all relationships.
What was most interesting about choosing this book as our first Book Club selection is that we each had different perspectives. No matter what lens you’re reading through (single, a mother, have strong sibling bonds, or are working on building a relationship with your mother) this book will require you to take a deep look into your upbringing. Much of Dr. Lepera’s writing focuses on connecting readers’ experience with their parental figures to how they currently show up in the world. *If your childhood is not something you’re ready to revisit I suggest saving this read for a different time*
I appreciate her in depth explanation of just how much childhood events can still subconsciously control our actions as an adult. This takes up maybe the first third of the book. Although I understand why this area takes time to explore, I wish there was more talk about overcoming these things in this same section. She alludes to upcoming practical tips in almost every chapter, but most of the tips came in the last third of the book. This organizational choice at times made it difficult for me to keep focus.
Without giving away the whole book I will say that the advice offered in the last chapters of the book were worth the wait. There are multiple writing prompts for the girls who like a good journal (although I do have mixed feelings about writing activities included in books because, am I really going to mark up my hardback?).
My favorite takeaway is the theme that no matter your starting point in life, you have the ability to create the life you want. This isn’t even meant to be part of the “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” rhetoric. There’s power in knowing that you not quite operating as your best self is not because you’re lazy, don’t have what it takes, or are limited to the expectations your parents placed on you. It just means you don’t yet have the right tools to use.
The biggest thing that I’m implementing in my own life as I move towards year 30 is paying attention to how well I treat myself. How much sleep am I getting? What type of food am I eating? Am I incorporating movement into my day? If I’m not even giving myself the basics, how can I operate as my best self. The best example I found in my everyday life is, the amount of food and rest I need when I’m in ovulating IS NOT going to get me through the workday when I’m on my period. If you’re already doing great things now, just think about what you can accomplish when you prioritize your physical nand emotional health.
Overall, I recommend this book to the women like myself who are trying to figure out what the next step looks like. My overall rating: 3.5/5 stars!